WHAT: Schlocktoberfest 2004: The Schlockening
WHEN: Saturday, October 2, 2004
WHERE: The Adult Education Center on the Campus of USM in Long Beach, MS.*
TIME: 12 noon - approx. 2 am
COST: $10 at the door

WHAT THE HECK IS SCHLOCKTOBERFEST?

SCHLOCKTOBERFEST is a 14-hour film festival/movie marathon showcasing flicks that are of a dubious nature. By dubious, I mean that the movies shown are not exactly good, or at least not "good" by any traditional meaning of the word. These are schlock movies, mostly laughable sci-fi and horror films with silly dialogue, bad acting, and goofy looking monsters. Some movies shown are so bad they're actually rather entertaining to watch and others are just plain bad and are best viewed in a group setting. Others aren't so much bad as they are just overtly campy. Essentially, these are the kinds of cheesy movies you'd see lampooned on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

IS IT OKAY TO HECKLE THE MOVIE?

Sure. But we do ask that you don't overdo it to the point of drowning out the movie, even though there will be some movies where you will want to do just that. However, we do ask that you keep your quips relatively clean. This is SCHLOCKTOBERFEST and not Def Comedy Jam.

WHY WOULD ANYONE PAY TO WATCH BAD MOVIES?

Well, if you've been to the movies or the video store recently then chances are you already did. At least these bad movies have a kitsch value and can be appreciated by some for being their cheese factor.

WHERE IS THIS FESTIVAL BEING HELD?

SCHLOCKTOBERFEST will be held in Long Beach, Mississippi at the Adult Education Center on the University of Southern Mississippi-Long Beach Campus*. We'll post more specific directions to the building in the coming weeks.

SO WHEN DOES IT TAKE PLACE?

Well, as the name suggests, SCHLOCKTOBERFEST will take place in October. To be more specific, this year's event will be held on Saturday, October 2, 2004.

HOW LONG DOES IT LAST?

From beginning to end, SCHLOCKTOBERFEST will last about 14 hours, beginning at noon and concluding sometime around 2 am. Just be thankful that the seats in the auditorium are well cushioned.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?

$10 at the door.

WHAT MOVIES ARE YOU SHOWING?

You can find that out by clicking on the "Schedule" page.

WHAT IS THIS MIDNIGHT MYSTERY MOVIE?

The Midnight Mystery Movie will be the film that closes the festival. As you can probably guess, this movie will not begin until around midnight. Unlike the other movies shown, the identity of this movie will not be announced ahead of time. It will simply be billed as the Midnight Mystery Movie. This is also why we say the fest ends at approximately 2 am since giving away a running time for the movie would be revealing too much. We do guarantee this much: the film chosen to be the Midnight Mystery Movie will not put you to sleep.

IS IT OKAY TO BRING OUR KIDS?

It's up to you but from my experience young children don't go for this sort of thing. It's generally not until one reaches their teens or adulthood that they can truly appreciate the camp value of some of the movies we will be showing. If you bring young children don't be surprised if they get bored and restless really quick. In addition, we may run an R rated movie or two later in the evening which wouldn't be appropriate for kids. And since most of the movies we show are monster movies anyway, they may be scared of what they see on the screen. Also, if you bring an infant and he or she begins crying you then will be asked to leave the theater so as to not disturb the other patrons. It's just common courtesy.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MUFFIN MAN?

Back at Mardi Gras and boy, was he drunk!

AND I CAN WIN PRIZES TOO?

Yes! Between movies we will be giving away a variety of door prizes that are in the spirit of the festival. I assure you that nobody who wins one of our door prizes will truly be a winner.

WHY IS THIS WEBSITE SO TACKY LOOKING?

Because it's a website devoted to cinematic schlock and a film festival that shows them so we wanted this site to be loud and didn't want it to look like Yahoo's homepage. Besides, it is a scientifically proven fact that web surfers are instantly attracted to large yellow buttons. And since when is using a purple, bright yellow, radioactive green color scheme considered tacky?

HEY, I'M ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE!

Sorry.

WHO ON EARTH IS THIS FOYWONDER FELLOW?

Just some guy named Scott Foy. The man has no life so he watches way too many bad movies and then writes way about them on the internet. He's also the evil mastermind behind SCHLOCKTOBERFEST and will be serving as the "Schlockmaster of Ceremonies" for the show.

WILL YOU BE UPDATING THIS PAGE?

Absolutely. We will be adding more specific information about the fest in the days and weeks ahead.

DO I HAVE ANYMORE QUESTIONS?

I don't know. Do you? If so then feel free to drop us an email or, better yet, post the question in the Fest Stuff section of the message board. We will answer your question as best we can.

NOW WHAT?

Probably best to click on the "Home" button.

* SCHLOCKTOBERFEST is an event independent of the University of Southern Mississippi. USM-Long Beach is in no way affiliated with SCHLOCKTOBERFEST other than providing the rental of the facility.